A Letter To Myself

A letter to myself. 

Unfortunately, love is disposable. The kind of love you spent years trying to find, not only with another person but within yourself too. This love, most love, is a choice. More often than not the love you felt for someone was more along the lines of respect, a feeling, a desire for attention and care, a desire for a connection. This kind of love doesn't require a choice, well not much of one. You see someone, you're attracted to them, they are sweet, fun, portray the characteristics you desire in a leader, and you "fall." Don't fall. Choose. 

We grow up believing love is forever. Maybe it was intended to be forever, but we've misused it. We get to a point in our "love" where we chose to stop the good feelings. We choose to let it go. Many have chosen to believe you aren't worth it. Many have chosen to stop choosing you. Some will never choose you again. Some will want to, but will choose to walk away. That's okay. Even though they've made their choice about you, keep choosing them. 

You look in the mirror and search for the things you love about yourself. In yourself. Then you choose which attributes and characteristics are worth loving. When you choose pieces of yourself to love, you are choosing to dispose of the ones deemed unworthy. Sometimes that's okay, some attributes and characteristics need to be disposed of but be careful. Don't dispose of a part of you that others choose to love. A part of you that was given as a blessing from God. You've been misguided by this self love that picks and chooses parts of you to love, making it easy to pick and choose the love you give. I'm sorry I've let others choose what's worthy to love about you rather than choosing you. 

You are not broken. You've been broken and might break again BUT you are not broken. Someone might come and try to break you. Don't let them. When you let someone else break you, you're choosing that brokenness. I say that with this in mind, some brokenness you've experienced was chosen for you. Unfortunately this could happen again but, choose to grow. Choose to endure. Choose to claim your victory over your brokennes. You are confident. You are whole. Choose to be complete. 

You're called crazy. You're called radical. You're told you will be alone forever because of the choice to remain pure. You've been told you're life is too much work. You're not worth the effort. They tell you your dreams are too big. Your dreams will keep you from ever finding love. 

Don't listen to them. Even the people that may mean well. Choose to find your worth by being crazy. Being radical. Remaining pure. Keep living your crazy, beautiful, hard life. You are worth it. Dream even bigger dreams. 

You've been told you love too hard. Love Harder. You trust too easily. Trust easier. You expect too much. Expect more. 

Never see your intense love as a failure. No matter how many times it breaks you and let's you down. Always love harder. 

Never stop trusting. You can be smart in how you trust and still trust easily. Many people don't deserve trust, give them the trust you want, even when they don't return it. Always trust easier. 

Expectations are hard. Don't let expectations become comparison, but let them be motivation. You can do ALL things through Christ. Start expecting ALL and you'll start seeing ALL. Expect the best in people. Expect respect. Expect MORE! Sometimes expectations lead to disappointment. But expect to get up stronger. Never stop believing in people. Even when they let you down. Even when you can't see the good. 

Even if. Even when. Do more.